There are bound to be some days when we feel like a fraud. Self-doubt smacks on the face and leaves us questioning everything that we were confident about the day before.
I had one of those days yesterday. Someone I respect and admire questioned my qualifications. While I understood her good intent (and I have no doubt that her intent was good) on that grown up logical level, the less grown up and ‘together’ part of me started to unravel. The questions started racing through my head. What if my 6 years (plus) of training and 10 years (plus) of experience doesn’t qualify for this shift in direction? What if people don’t like what I produce? And lets face it, what if I’m not liked?
It was hours of personal debating. But one thing that I didn’t question is how normal and common my reaction was. I knew I wasn’t alone in this because we all experience self-doubt. It’s a battle that even elite athletes & corporate high flyers tackle.
In the end I realised I needed to put a stop to my unravelling and get myself together. I utilised a few strategies (that ironically I learnt through all that training) to calm my thoughts and refocus on facts and not my perceived lack of worth. Here’s the steps I took.
1. Meditate. The first thing did was meditate. It’s not something that comes easily to me but is part of a program I’m currently doing to learn the art of meditation. Meditation is so good for calming the thoughts and giving space to thinking clearly.
2. Fact checking. A really good strategy to calming self-doubt is to check your own facts to prove to yourself that these thoughts aren’t true. For me, I researched my job title and current training to reassure myself that I’m not a ‘fraud’ and also gave me options for brushing up on my skills if I want to at any time.
3. Talk it out. I spoke to a friend, my husband and my sister about it. I asked them their view knowing my background and my future goals. I got some really good feedback… and no sympathy because that never really helps.
4. Move on. Finally, I made the conscious decision to move on. There was nothing malicious happening and there was no great catastrophe. It was just someone asking a question and I didn’t need it to take over my week.
You are not a fraud. It’s okay to back yourself.
About Rach Wheatley, Project: Breathe
Rach Wheatley is a proud mum and wife who juggles day care drop offs, collecting pretty things and getting sweaty via a range of fun/crazy fitness adventures. Rach loves working with women who want to live a more meaning life and thrives on helping women live out their life purpose by developing the business of their dreams. She does this through her business Project: Breathe. Her online business and blog provides consultation, workshops and tools to help women build a meaningful business.