Most single parents didn’t initially set out to tread the steep and often treacherous path of single parenting. If you’ve been privy to the stigma that still surprisingly exists around taking this path, you’ll know how it can hurt. Sometimes more than you expect. My dad gave me some excellent advice once. He said, “Success is your best revenge.”
Whilst I would prefer not to be motivated by revenge, striving for success when the odds are against you is a move towards a brighter and happier place. After a decade of single parenting, I’ve decided that having it all is possible, as long as there are some guidelines in place.
Lisa Fitzpatrick and her family
1. Do Compare Yourself
This goes against popular advice but it has a place. Take the mother who raised her six children during the Irish Potato famine, after her husband died in the war. This is a lady who went on to achieve a doctorate in women’s issues when there were no electric washing machines. Or consider the mother with four children under ten who was abandoned by the love of her life. She went on to create a successful swimwear line. There will always be examples of single mothers who succeeded under extreme circumstances, possibly more extreme than your own. Use the examples they set to fuel and inspire you to keep going on tough days. They survived the toughest circumstances imagine-able and went on to thrive. If they can do it against all the odds, then you can too. Compare yourself, but only to those worthy of comparison.
2. Cultivate a Great Relationship with Yourself
So you don’t have a partner to cultivate a healthy and loving relationship with. This is an amazing opportunity to develop a sound, unconditionally loving and harmonious friendship with your own self. Choose to become your own best friend. Make a stand for yourself the way you’d hope your best friend or a loving husband would. Challenge any mean-girl thoughts that threaten to pull you down. Create a dialogue and decide what supportive mantras you’re going to use to encourage yourself to keep going.
3. Understand that Growth and Comfort do not Co-Exist
To truly grow, you need to get really comfortable with uncertainty. Becoming skillful at managing uncertainty supports you to see life and business as a playful adventure where anything is possible. Comfort is over-rated because it supports complacency and can dampen the fire of motivation. As a single parent, you’re being initiated by fire into the uncertainty of so many basic things, such as how you might survive financially. Use this as an opportunity to discover your own potential. Single parenting is the ultimate training ground for running a business because it requires you to be as resourceful as possible under challenging circumstances. The growth trajectory you’re thrust into as a single parent builds the muscles of courage, gumption and determination. Embrace your inner warrior goddess and be thankful that you’re not comfortable (yet).
4. Turn Within and Trust Your Inner Guidance System
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance – Bruce Barton
There’s something within you that is more than capable of guiding you beyond your current circumstances. Become a vision holder and not a problem solver. Your vision pulls you towards a greater future, so make it a clearly defined, sweet and expansive one. What you focus on will expand, so make a point of steering your focus away from your challenges, or reframe them as stepping- stones to your highest purpose. Turn within regularly so that you can hear the quiet voice of guidance that has a higher purpose for your life. Trust that your destiny is in succeeding because of your status as a single parent and not despite it.
5. Cultivate a Belief in a Higher Power and Take Action
Cultivate a belief in God, benevolence, Christ, the divine, Allah or the goddess. Trust that life is set up for you to succeed and that you are part of a friendly universe and then take action in the direction of your vision. Having the power of your belief is one thing, but believing that the whole universe is behind you supports you to move mountains to have what you desire. You can become an unstoppable force for good and rise above any circumstances you choose.
So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead – James 2:17
When you have faith and take action in the direction of your dreams, rise above your current circumstances and trust yourself, anything is possible. Be your own best friend and follow those brave women who thrived in adversity. You can have it all, so get started by clarifying what having it all means to you. You’ve got this!
About our Ausmumpreneur Expert :
Lisa Fitzpatrick’s latest book ‘Healing the Heart of Your Business – sustainable success secrets for heart-centred women’ supports women to find true holistic balance in their service-based businesses. Pick up part one for free at www.LisaFitzpatrick.com.au or buy the book here.
As the founder of Sacred Women’s Business, Lisa believes that every woman has the right to tap into her unique feminine wisdom to achieve lasting success and leave her legacy. Lisa is a certified coach, writer, yoga teacher, workshop facilitator, speaker, registered physiotherapist and mother. She lives in a subtropical paradise near Byron Bay with her two sons.